Growlin Gremlin

I had to post this video of Addie growling. She's been growling for a long time, but now does it whenever you ask her if she's a Gremlin. I find it hilarious....enjoy!

Addison

It's been awhile since I've posted some Addie updates. This girl is learning new things every. single. day it seems! She is starting to talk so much and is repeating a lot more sounds and words that she's hears. (this would be the time to make sure we're not saying naughty things!)

She says a lot of new words...

Addie- at any mirror or picture of herself and often times other babies. She also says this when we say it as in "Addie, no no" she'll just reply "Addie" in the same tone and continue to menace...we're working on that one.

Cheese- she walks over the the fridge after her afternoon nap and demands cheese

Grape- she LOVES them, also part of her afternoon snack usually

Whale- her favorite bath toy

Dude- Aunt Ashley taught her this one. Hilarious

Chair- she's obsessed now...mostly because she wants to climb onto them

Bed- same thing....climbing, being wild and crazy....kind of a pattern here

Car and Go- she knows when we're leaving and sometimes wants to when we aren't

Good girl- She says this because we've said it to her a lot...haha only she normally says it when she's getting into stuff that she shouldn't.

BALL- This girl is obsessed with anything even resembling a ball. She says it at anything round or a circle....heehee even polka dots on her jammies :)

Shoes- usually when she wants to leave or if we happen to be in a shoe store... not too often ;)

She randomly says Poopoo or bumbum too....normally with a diaper in her hand... LOL! There are other words too but I can't think of them all.

She also says Papa, Grammy, Whitty, Aah (for Ash), and Kacey and of course Mom and Daddy. Oh and Willie the dog. She calls all dogs Willie now. She says the family member's names when she sees their pictures or in person. Very fun and cute!

She makes a lot of animal noises and it is funny. Ever since she learned the monkey sound, she pretty much always says that sound first no matter what. She'll quack, woof, and hoot like an owl and oink like a pig.

Addison has decided that the best toys are STILL not toys and LOVES to empty drawers and get into everything and anything that she can. I'm tying to figure out how to avoid this. We can only baby proof so much! This girl is just too smart and too busy. Luckily she's a lot of fun and pretty cute so we let a lot of her "menacing" slide.

She has taken over my blackberry right now and is dancing to the music on it as I'm writing this. She loves phones and puts them up to her ear and will say "daddy" or "papa" or "grammy" :)

She's gone from taking steps a couple of months ago to now running! She is so full of energy and never stops- she is full of it. We have so much fun with our wild and crazy little girl! I can't believe how quickly she went from a baby to a toddler....it is unreal. Somedays I feel like she's a 2 or 3 year old. I keep telling her to stay little for me awhile longer.....don't think she will though.... sniff sniff. We love you to pieces Addie!

Some Random stuff

Here are a few pictures from over the past month in no particular order..... see we haven't JUST been packing and moving!

One more box mom! If only.....

Ashley and Ian visited a few weeks ago and Ash was also here last week for spring break. Addie loved getting to play and see her. (not the best picture of Addie)

Addie got to wear the dress Papa Steve gave her for Christmas to church...what a pretty little girl :) Sadly I hadn't found a hair bow to match it at this point. Don't worry though- I've got one now- whew!

What a difference a few weeks makes!! This was just 3 weeks ago when we had all the snow dump. Jed took Addie out to play in it and to see the polar bear (yes still there from Christmas...whoops) on the front porch. She loves that thing and always points to the front door and says "woof" because she wants to see it. Somehow she thinks it is a dog...funny girl (sorry it's blurry)After being away far too long, the Weinsteins made a trip back here to Utah this week. Last night we got to have dinner and catch up and it was so fun to see them! This is the first time that they've met Addie in person too. Here are the girls after dinner on 25th street. Luckily Addie was pretty nice during dinner and they didn't see too much of the "toddler" side of her ;) We've missed you guys!!!

I like to move it move it!

Okay, really moving sucks and isn't much fun at all.....hence my absence of posting anything for over a week. I've been packing, packing and then unpacking, unpacking and MORE unpacking!! Our new place is mostly put together now and we're excited. I have most of my decor up already and I'm just stalling with unpacking the last few boxes that include a bunch of random stuff that I don't know what to do with yet.

The move went really smooth. Shout out to Blake and Van and Terry for helping and some Elder's Quorom peeps from the Wolf Creek Ward. They loaded and unloaded everything quick and it was awesome to have the help- THANK YOU ALL!! Also, I have to thank all of my helpers who helped with the more delicate processes....such as moving the fragile items, clothes and decor and helping me put it all away! Mom, Laurie, Ash and Kacey you rock! Thanks Lori for brining us all pizza too :) If I've left anyone out...I apologize and please know I'm sleepy.... I feel like this is an acceptance speech hee hee..

Addie was a great helper...ish. She actually tolerated packing/unpacking things pretty well. She liked to take things out of cupboards for me so that I could box them up. Hey, it worked! She's funny. This girl has become a full blown toddler and is getting a little attitude. She's lots of fun and make me laugh everyday with the funny things she does or tries to say. I hope that the tantrum-throwing will be easier to deal with when she's older and I can have a conversation with her. For now, we're doing our best to be patient with this on-the-go little one.

Check her out at Home Depot...She is not just walking, but running down the aisle! Jed won't make the mistake of letting her out of the cart "for a minute" anytime soon. Oh and by the way, in case any of you don't know, you can't let a toddler do anything for "just a minute"....

She's been so lucky this weekend too! While us chumps moved everything, she got to play at Grammy Dawn's house and g0t spoiled rotten I'm sure :) We are SO blessed to have so much awesome family around us to always help out!

I'll post some pictures of our new place soon if people really want to see it. Jed just said to me as I was writing this that this place feels like home now :) Probably has something to do with the fact that it now smells like freshed baked banana bread mmmm, and that we're watching TV while I blog/BB and he plays with his iPod....I know, we're such party animals!

Pack it up, Pack it in...

Well this past week I've been trying to pack everything we don't need for the couple weeks. It's hard to pack when you're moving into a smaller space. I've been trying to pack everything that we're storing (thanks in laws!!) first and get that stuff OUT of the house. It drives me nuts having boxes everywhere and the house in disaray....sigh....I know, it will be until we move and then UNPACK.

I haven't been very good about taking many pictures of Addie lately....this girl is on. the. move! She's walking everywhere, climbing everything and talking more and more! She's so much fun....yesterday it was a warm enough day that I finally got to take her for a walk- yay! She LOVED it. She was just talking gibberish the whole time and making cute little sounds. She loves to be outside so I can't wait till spring so we can spend more time outdoors.

Saturday we got to go to Jed's cousin's baptism down in Sandy. It was fun to see his family and see Quinton get baptized. I kept thinking about how quick Addison's will come....but let's change the subject before I cry...

SHOES!! Ahhh, the only thing more fun that buying shoes for me, is buying shoes for Addie. Shoes are so much cuter when they're little. Her feet had a growth spurt and she only had one pair that fit her. So Jed and I took her to Payless and she went NUTS!! She loved alllll the shoes...haha NO idea where she gets that from ;)

Here she is, trying to put one on her foot...you can see that the wall of shoes is mostly on the floor too. She was having way too much fun and had been sick of the stroller, so I just let her play and then spent 5 mins trying to put all of them back in the right boxes.

That's about all for now. We're supposed to close next week on our house and we'll be moving next weekend! Oh, and I want to thank all of you for your love and support with Bryan and my family. I truly appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers :)

Where do we go from here?

I really have been debating with myself (and Lori) all day whether or not to blog about this. I worried that by exposing something so serious and heartbreaking about my family may make me feel vulnerable to judgement or gossip or the like. I've decided to write about this anyway, because this is real. This is life. Life is complicated and hard sometimes and I feel that maybe if I write this, someone else may be going through something similar and be strengthened or at least know that they're not the only one. So with a deep breath...here goes...

My baby brother Bryan is 23. He has been using drugs in some form since about age 14. It started with the same crap that a lot of kids in junior high and high school "experiment" with. The past four or five years. however, he has been addicted to Heroine. For those of you who as naive about drugs as I once was, Heroine is the most addictive drug there is. The statistics for full recovery off of it is 2%. That means 98% of addicts will either use it their whole life or overdose before they ever get clean. (gotta love the stats they tell you in rehab places)

I didn't even know that there were different ways to use it. Apparently Bryan smoked it for a long time. He had been in and out of different rehabs and detox places several times before and after he started Heroine. About a little over a year ago, we found out that he was shooting it up, meaning injecting it into his veins with a syringe....you can imagine my family and my complete horror to find this out. Everyday my parents and siblings and I would worry if we were going to get that phone call. The dreaded, most frightening phone call we could receive, that Bryan had overdosed. The only chance that he had at that point was to get caught and put in jail. It sounds like such a strange thing that we were all hoping and praying for, but it was the last resort to save his life. He had several possession charges, but unfortunately, the system is a little (a lot) broken. If the jail is crowded, they send you home.....

Last April, Bryan was picked up and finally put in jail, this time he wasn't going home the next day. We took a huge sigh of relief just knowing he was somewhere safe where he couldn't use. I know, it is still weird to think that jail was a relief! Bryan ended up staying there until November. He was sentenced to drug court, which means that he has to stay in a program, attend meetings and have drug tests a few times a week. If he failed on any of these fronts, he would go back to jail.

Bryan looked SO good when he came out of jail! He had put on some weight, looked healthy and strong again, and was finally out of the drug-induced fog. FINALLY I had my brother back!! I hadn't felt like he had really been Bryan, the Bryan I grew up with and loved, in so many years. Jed hadn't ever known Bryan when he wasn't using. Addison finally got to meet him and have him hold her for the first time since she was born. He has been doing so well. Going to meetings, working the programs, feeling like he's doing the right things and really working toward good goals.

Then BAM! I don't know why, but he stopped wanting to try anymore. He decided last night that he didn't want to live as a drug addict for the rest of his life. He didn't want to have to be in a program and put in the constant work that it is just to stay clean and sober.

So he used.

He wanted to be done.

Not just done with rehab. Done with LIFE....

his intention was to overdose and not have to live anymore so that he wouldn't have to have the pain, the hurt, and the problems that come with living as a an addict. Once an addict, always and addict. The only difference is some use and some stay clean. But you are always an addict. I have NO idea what it is like to have an addiction. I don't know the pain an agony of detoxing. I don't know the overwhelming urge to use a drug. I can't possibly ever understand why Bryan would ever want to end his life just so that he could be done once and for all with the drug.

All I know is that I DO NOT want the drug to win!! Bryan amazingly survived his attempt at overdosing and is now back in jail. Sadly, we are again breathing that sigh of relief that he's somewhere he can't use. But now what??? Where does he go from here? And where do we as a family go from here? I don't know the answers. I don't know if he'll ever be able to stay clean and stay my brother- the same brother that used to sleep on the floor in my bedroom growing up because he was afraid of the dark. I keep wishing and hoping and praying that I can save him. I want to keep him on my floor and protect him. I just don't know how. I would give anything to see him happy and living a normal life. I just don't know if that will ever happen for him.

All I can do is pray for him. I hope that he'll feel God's love and guidance and know he's not alone in this trial and rough journey he's been going through. Bryan, even though you can't see or read this where you're at- I LOVE YOU! I'm here for you and always will be. Here's a picture, the only picture actually, of Bryan and Addison. It was taken on her birthday....just 7 weeks ago. I pray that he'll come back again and be my brother, my parents' son and Addison's uncle.

IT IS OFFICIAL....

My BABY is no longer a baby..... what the ?!?! How did this happen?? I turned around yesterday and realized that she is a what? That's right, my friends a TODDLER!!! Ahhhhh!

See this sweet little face...

Well, she is now full blown walking. She eats big girl food, she drinks real milk, she watches videos and dances along, she says new words every single day it seems, yup toddler! Oh another fun thing is that she's learned to throw a tantrum...sigh....I thought I had till age two for that one.

I'm in the middle of packing up our house, and it has been so weird and sad to be packing away all of Addison's "baby" stuff knowing that it will be stored, not used when we move. Oh, AND I threw away ALL of her bottle last night. She's fully embraced the sippy cup.

She's so much fun right now though!! It is so fun to watch her learn new things each day and try and say new words and sounds. It's so cute to hear her moo like a cow or "talk" to daddy on the phone. That coversation usually sounds something like... "daddy!......silence for a bit... da diddid....mom (when he's telling her to be good for me).....daddy" LOL little sweetheart. Jed loves it too I'm sure.

She has decided that walking isn't enough, she must take something with her, usually something far too big or heavy for her to really carry. Somehow she seems to manage. Here she is, carrying her tray to her high chair. She loves to do this, and you just try and stop her....

Well, I suppose I'll just have to be okay with her growing up. I sure can't stop it!! She's such a joy in our lives and we have so much fun with her. I just can't get enough of this little girl :) Oh, I had to post this picture too.....her totally striking a pose in her jammies for the camera. Such a girl! Gotta love that bed head too.

Hey, I don't care how big you get Addie, you'll always be my baby.